Monday Memories

Some of my favorite memories are of playing in the woods across the street from my house. It had stone walls running through it, which helped us name different parts of the woods. We used to play capture the flag in there, we made bike paths, most of our days were spent playing in there until they decided to build houses in there.

There was Giant Rock, which was a huge boulder that we used to climb on and just hang out. Some of us girls in the neighborhood formed a club and we would hold our meetings there.

There was Safety Tree, which was a tree that looked like a "Y" and was perfect for climbing in especially when you were being chased by your older brothers on their bikes.

There were The Five Pits, which were just that, 4 feet by 4 feet and about 2 feet deep, and scattered all throughout the woods.

There was Pigmy Forest, which was a clump of trees that were so entwined that you had to crouch down real low to walk through them.

If I close my eyes and concentrate I can imagine myself walking along the paths in those woods with my friends, laughing, and being so carefree never imaging that the Happy Memories of those days would make me start to cry right now. Not because I miss my friends( I still talk to most of the people I grew up with), but because it brings me back to a time that can never be replaced. Back before I was forced to grow up and realize life isn't as easy as Hide and Seek and Capture Flag and catching fireflies. Back before I realized life can throw a curve ball at you so fast it can and will hit you and it will hurt, for a lifetime. Maybe today was not the day to try to remember any memories for me, because as I sit here typing and crying and wondering why remembering these memories is hurting so much today I realize it is because 12 years ago on Memorial Day was the last time I saw my oldest brother alive. The last time he would tease me and joke with me as I was venturing into a new chapter of my life with my Fiancee and moving into our new apartment. My brother who I looked up to, he was one of my first heroes, he was talented and smart, funny and handsome, he picked on me like most brothers did, but nobody else was allowed to. And although he had been struggling with alcholism and drug addiction, that last time I saw him he was so happy, so full of life! He was excited because his best friend had called and asked him to be his best man. He made the comment that day that he was going to be in two weddings that summer mine and his friends. He was looking forward to these events.
Then a few days later my world changed forever, the police showed up at my work, and told me my brother was dead, they didn't even let me sit down! He apparantly commited suicide, that is what they ruled it. Although shortly after the shock wore off questions came up, none of which we can ever get answers to. But enough to make us suspect that it wasn't a suicide. So that is why my world changed June 2, 1994 and why even childhood memories that can bring joy can also bring heartache. And I never intented for this post to be about this, but sometimes I just can't help remembering............................

Oil and Water.

It has been awhile since I have posted. Been busy, just don't have time to post everyday like I would like to. But today I need to vent( even if it is to nobody in particular..... And even if nobody reads this at least it will be off my chest.)
I try to teach my children to respect people even if they don't like the person because I know that it is impossible to like everyone you meet. Some people just don't mix. Kind of like Oil and Water. I know I don't Like everyone I meet, but I am friendly and respectful because that is how I was brought up. Does that make me two-faced?I don't look at it that way.....Because I am not telling the person I am their friend and then really not being their friend. But anyways...I am trying to help my children understand that it is okay not to like someone, but they must be respectful and friendly. The difficulty is with one of my nieces, I will call her princess perfect. Picasso and Princess Perfect are always having Issues. Picasso is not perfect and I know this, no child is, or adult for that matter. But, Picasso is honest to a fault, I can count on one hand how many times he has lied, and he will tell you exactly how he feels when he feels it whether you like it or not. He tries so hard to have patience and he tries to be respectful and nice to everyone. But he does have buttons that can be pushed and it seems like Princess Perfect knows exactly how to push those buttons. She torments him until he breaks and he does something back and then her mom blames everything on Picasso. It is Never Princess Perfects fault in her moms eyes. Neighbors have witnessed this besides us. We live in the same neighborhood, unfortunately , so she is always around. I love my niece, but she is spoiled. She is an only child and she gets no consistent form of discipline. I am dreading the summer!
Today Picasso and Buddy were playing with two of the other neighborhood boys their age and she wanted to play with them....She is 18 months younger than Picasso. They didn't want to at first...They wanted boy time...But then they decided to let her play a little while later. Well, they were playing a game sort of cops and robbers on their bikes...She was the robber...And the boys were the cops.....She had no problem with that......Then Picasso got off his bike and was trying to "catch" her.....She rode by him on her bike and he grabbed her handle bar to stop her( Not a safe or smart thing to do, but he did it)...She swerved to avoid him catching her and she dumped her bike. Well her mom screamed at him at the top of her lungs don't you ever do that again! I didn't see what happened but I did get the story from Picasso and the other kids. Her mom said she saw the whole thing and he threw her to the ground. I don't believe her at all because like I said she always blames Picasso for everything! A few days ago she sat on her front steps and watched as her perfect daughter threw a ball repeatedly at Picasso while a 12 year old held him! And as I was calling Picasso home because I didn't like what I was seeing her perfect princess was pulling on Picasso's shirt and pushing him because he had grabbed the ball as soon as the 12 year old let go! So when he pushed her back and she fell and her mom yelled at Picasso, DH yelled back that she did it to him first and she said she didn't "see" that, but it happened right before he pushed her. But Princess Perfect admitted to pushing him first. Her mom only sees what she wants to see. So that is why I don't believe her and also ALL the kids told me the same story. I just don't know what to do, I am sick and tired of Picasso being screamed at, especially when 90% of the time it isn't ALL him. If I tell him not to play with her, then her mom will get mad that I told him that because Princess Perfect will cry that he won't and can't play with her. I am going to call her mom tomorrow and discuss the situation....I think....It is such a touchy situation with it being relatives and all. Any advice would be appreciated!!!!!

Most Embarrassing moment.

I was just over at One Woman's World and read her most embarrassing moment, she asked for others moments so here goes.
I had borrowed my husbands truck( We were engaged at the time.). Did I mention it was a NEW pickup truck. I had to go to work and it was my first time driving his truck. My parents driveway is kind of tricky backing out of. At the entrance it is narrow and there are two cement walls. Well, I knew it would be difficult backing the truck out of the driveway so I asked my mom to direct me. Well, even with mom directing me, I got two close to the cement wall and I scratched the bumper of his truck! I was so sick to my stomach, mom told me it wasn't bad it was just the bumper, so I went on my merry way to work where I parked in the parking garage where I normally do. I called DH at his work and told him about the bumper and he wasn't worried about it, It was after all just the bumper. My stomach settled and I went about my day! Well, at quitting time I had to go pick up DH at his work. I walked out to the truck to check the damage from earlier and was Horrified! There was a 12 inch scratch on the side of the Truck! That sick sinking feeling came to my stomach again. This time I was so upset, I couldn't have done that! I thought someone had done something to the truck. So I drove all the way to his work and before he looked at the bumper I told him someone had to have hit his truck in the parking garage, it wasn't there before! He looked at it closely and realized that the scratch was from the stone wall! I didn't see it at first because there was dirt on the truck from four wheeling that weekend. I was so MORTIFIED! I thought he was going to break up with me for sure. He wasn't mad at all! I offered to pay for the scratched paint job, but he wouldn't let me. When I told my brother what had happened all he could say is, " He must REALLY love you!" and 12 years later we are still married! But he doesn't like me driving the Truck.

The Big Yellow House

As I was reading at The Big Yellow House and laughing about the baseball blog. I was reminded of Buddy's game the other night. It is his first year in 'The Majors" and so far his team is doing real well. The coaches are impressed with his skills and he his having a blast with the older boys! But on Wednsday he had a game, only the second one I got to sit and watch from beginning to end so far!
Buddy's team rallied with a couple real good hits the first two innings!
Buddy got put in and I was looking forward to watching him play.
His first up to bat for the game the score was 5 to 2 his team was winning, 2 outs, 2 on base. Buddy steps up to the plate, and I mutter under my breath," No pressure here, Buddy."
Then a couple of the veteran moms turn to me and say " No pressure here for Buddy Huh?"
I laugh, because I doubt they heard me mutter. The poor kid struck out! I felt so bad for him, he doesn't handle pressure well at all.
He struck out every at bat. And his last at bat was the worst pressure of all! The score was close, 2 outs, and the bases were loaded and he struck out again! But his team won and he was not upset at all!
I guess us moms worry a little too much at times!

This is Perfect for Moms of boys.

I don't know who the original author of this email was but this is so true with boys and it reminds me of what happened this morning.


RAISING BOYSa) For those who have grown children, this is hysterical.
b) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
c) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
d) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.---------------------------------------------------------------------The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas:Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 dbs in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rota te a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.( Or ANY kind of balls!) When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Patience

We patiently checked for spots the last two weeks, none appeared. Thank God!
Picasso tested my patience this morning. I was reading a beautiful email for mothers day about moms and Dh was getting ready to head out the door to bring Picasso and Buddy to school. When something hit the fan!
It was a bouncy ball of Bubbas. Picasso had kicked it, It hit the ceiling fan, Got sent shooting towards the dining room wall, where it came to an abrupt stop when it collided with my decorative dish holder, two plates came flying off the wall onto the dining room table where one completely shattered and the other has not even a chip!
Picasso looked at me with such a horrified look! I knew he didn't mean it and he was truly sorry, which he told me when he gave me a hug. I was very calm and told him it was okay it was an accident, but that is why mommy has said NOT to play with balls in the house.

1 week down No Spots!

Well, it is officially one week since the boys were exposed to the chicken pox and so far so good no spots! They are getting annoyed with the twice a day checks for the spots, once in the morning before they get dressed for school and once at night after their baths or showers before they go to bed. But, me being the ever vigilant, slightly paranoid mom that I am will continue with the spot checks for another two weeks until the incubation period ends. Buddy and Picasso have less of a chance of getting the dreaded spots than Bubba does because they got the chicken pox shot and Bubba isn't old enough for it yet. Buddy is becoming a hypochondriac, every time he itches he thinks he is getting the chicken pox! Picasso keeps asking if he will die if he gets the chicken pox, of course I tell him no. I explain to him he will be very uncomfortable. And Bubba doesn't care if he has spots or not he is too busy crawling all over the house and exploring his ever expanding world. He pulled himself up to standing in his crib for the first time tonight and buddy said, " Uh Oh We're In Trouble!"

Picasso is having a hard time holding his tongue and can't stop swearing! Urgh, it is so frustrating! He had a run in with two boys on the bus this morning. Both are supposed to be his friend, but they didn't act like it. One got mad at him because another little friend sat with Picasso instead of him and told Picasso he wasn't going to be invited to his birthday party and then another little boy threw something at Picasso and hit him in the eye. So Picasso got mad and called them both a*******! Not that what he said was right or okay but I can understand why he called them that.

Buddy is sleep walking, I think. Last night Iwent into their bedroom to turn off lights and found a puddle on the floor! Yup, one of them peed on the floor! I asked each of them about it this morning and they both denied knowing anything about it. But Buddy said he dreamed he had to go to the bathroom and then the feeling went away, so I concluded he must have slept walked and peed! I know it wasn't the dog because she was out in the living room with me and their door was closed.


It is late and I am getting tired.....Hopefully tommorrow will be spot free too!

Afternoon Ramblings...

It has been another chaotic week, baseball games, baseball practices, worrying about neighbors children, one who had an accident on an ATV, one who is disabled and is not doing very well, another who has the chicken pox( and might have exposed the whole neighborhood to it, including my three sons). And helping our neighbor out whose mother has been diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. Buddy started racing his quarter midget again this weekend, he came in third in his race! We were so proud of him. He passed!!! This is a MAJOR thing for him considering he has had difficulty with it. And yesterday before Buddy's race my DH got terrible news. A man he really truly admired and respected died unexpectedly of a heart attack. In the fourteen years that I have known my husband I have never seen him be so openly and visibly upset. Most people would be intimidated by my husband if you were to meet him at first and many are until they get to know him. He is the most kind hearted, generous man I know. And truly caring and to see him cry in public broke my heart. I knew he was truly in pain over the death of his friend, ex-coworker, and in some aspects mentor.

Death is such a difficult thing to deal with. It is a nessessary process but sometimes it leaves the survivors wondering why? My husband and I are such seasoned veterans of dealing with death with each other we should be numb to the emotions it brings forth by now. But we are not and each time someone we care about dies we deal with our emotions and it teaches us to live life to the fullest each and every day. And even in our chaotic lives we take the time to appreciate that we are still able to go to our sons baseball games and practices and we still can watch Buddy race and enjoy Bubba's silly antics and crawling. Some people think we are crazy allowing our son to race. The way we look at it is, we are able to let him do it through sponsorships and family support. It was his dream since he was four years old and we have seen so many friends and family die suddenly without fullfilling their dreams we feel if we can fulfill our childrens dreams or help them come true we will do it. Spring is supposed to be a time of rebirth and joy, and for us it usually means saying goodbye to someone we care about. I just pray that the saddness DH is feeling right now will not squash his spirit.