Afternoon Ramblings...

It has been another chaotic week, baseball games, baseball practices, worrying about neighbors children, one who had an accident on an ATV, one who is disabled and is not doing very well, another who has the chicken pox( and might have exposed the whole neighborhood to it, including my three sons). And helping our neighbor out whose mother has been diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. Buddy started racing his quarter midget again this weekend, he came in third in his race! We were so proud of him. He passed!!! This is a MAJOR thing for him considering he has had difficulty with it. And yesterday before Buddy's race my DH got terrible news. A man he really truly admired and respected died unexpectedly of a heart attack. In the fourteen years that I have known my husband I have never seen him be so openly and visibly upset. Most people would be intimidated by my husband if you were to meet him at first and many are until they get to know him. He is the most kind hearted, generous man I know. And truly caring and to see him cry in public broke my heart. I knew he was truly in pain over the death of his friend, ex-coworker, and in some aspects mentor.

Death is such a difficult thing to deal with. It is a nessessary process but sometimes it leaves the survivors wondering why? My husband and I are such seasoned veterans of dealing with death with each other we should be numb to the emotions it brings forth by now. But we are not and each time someone we care about dies we deal with our emotions and it teaches us to live life to the fullest each and every day. And even in our chaotic lives we take the time to appreciate that we are still able to go to our sons baseball games and practices and we still can watch Buddy race and enjoy Bubba's silly antics and crawling. Some people think we are crazy allowing our son to race. The way we look at it is, we are able to let him do it through sponsorships and family support. It was his dream since he was four years old and we have seen so many friends and family die suddenly without fullfilling their dreams we feel if we can fulfill our childrens dreams or help them come true we will do it. Spring is supposed to be a time of rebirth and joy, and for us it usually means saying goodbye to someone we care about. I just pray that the saddness DH is feeling right now will not squash his spirit.